Welcome Back! (JM)

Hello my friends, compatriots, well-wishers, and people who hate me, but love Dennis. After a considerable hiatus we have returned. Feel free to rejoice. There may be some differences between the old and the new, but I really couldn't tell you what they are. Feel free to chime in with requests, ideas or not. That said, enough foreplay I am excited to get to some real writing and discussing, so strike up the band and away we go!

By the by, for those of you who don't know, that's a picture of me. I teach in a 70's themed charter school in Brooklyn, Vinnie Barbarino High School. The way we figure it the children of the 70s brought us the joy and prosperity of the 80s, thus we are trying to raise the children of today in much the same manner. In fact, the kids are in for a treat as they are just about to learn about history's greatest monster, Jimmy Carter. Anyway, that's enough filler material so that this post doesn't look weird with the picture included, so now with out further adieu, actual postings.

Paris Je T'aime (JM)

Well cowpokes, I am off to Paris for the week. Consequently, you will almost certainly not be hearing from me (okay, maybe one wine-sodden post from an internet cafe). Hopefully Dennis will keep you sated over the next week or so. I promise the following things:

1. I will offend French people, I am Jewish, I like America and I am, unshockingly, partial to saying whatever pops in to my head with little or no filter. I fully intend to try and discuss politics, American, French and world while there. I will report back, with hopefully humorous stories.

2. I am going to go to some of my favorite historical sites and will probably be inspired to write about French history, you will all be very pleased to read such exciting posts.

3. I am going to London for a couple of days as well. I have e-mailed Daniel Finkelstein and challenged him a game of chess. We shall see if he responds. Failing that I offered to buy him a drink. I really, really hope he writes back. I suspect he won't, but you know... maybe.

I suspect I will miss writing as much if not way more than y'all miss reading, so enjoy your weeks and I will speak to you on Thursday!

SWMP seeks SWFSS (JM)

I am turning this blog in to a celebrity personal ad site. Basically if you're a celebrity and you want to meet another celebrity, shoot us an e-mail. We'll make it happen. Our inaugural attempt:

Single 27 year old pitcher with decent stuff and an ERA+ over 100 in the last two years seeks star of amazing movie Along Came Polly. Loves to travel, has steady job and good sense of humor. Must love dogs.

So, anyway, I am basically just stealing this from Matt Cerrone over at MetsBlog, but it's really too good not to share with y'all. In an interview with Hollyscoop, which I can only assume is weblog devoted to all things Holly Hunter, Mets' pitcher John Maine expounds on his lifelong crush on Jennifer Aniston. When asked what he would do if he met her he said, "I guess I would take some pictures with her and give her a hug." Right there, that's too adorable for words. So if anyone out there can get John Maine her digits let me know, I think God would want this to happen.

P.S. I am totally serious about celebrity matchmaking, feel free to contact us over here at AOTG and Dennis and I will do our best to get you that special someone. We're looking at you Peter Frampton, we see how you've been making eyes at Helen Hunt. Call us.

Gchat Proves That We're Taking This Election Too Seriously (JM)

Dennis: i am very tired i saw i got an email from barack saying "dissapointed" and i was for a moment scared that he was dissapointed in me

Q.E.D.

Great Blog Searches Throughout History (JM)

There have been a lot of entertaining ways people have found this blog. I truly appreciate the fact that this blog is most often found by Wilford Brimley aficionados. For you guys I have a special treat in store in the next day or so. However, in the last two days our blog was found by someone search for the answer to the question, "Why are Jews so neurotic?" Well my friend, inadvertently you have come to the right place. Here's the deal: Our mom's are crazy, our women also crazy, years of oppression and high expectations of success. Also controlling the media is a tough and demanding job. So next time you're wondering about this, there you are.

The Perils of Corporate Sponsorship (JM)

So some exciting news and some bad news. AOTG has received corporate sponsorship from a consortium that includes American Apparel. This is great because it will allow us to have more resources for blogging and to do more full scale research. However, posting will be lighter as the corporate communications department has to vett our posts to make sure they are appropriate.

We don't expect too much in the way of censorship. In fact, in the next few weeks I have a pretty interesting post on the controversial history of cotton to share with y'all. So please forgive the slower posting as we get adjusted to this new scenario. We look forward to what should be a great month here at AOTG.

You Will Never Feel More Awkward (JM)

Regular readers of AOTG are aware that I am prone to exaggeration. I often refer to things as "the worst decision ever" and "totally insane". That said, I defy you to watch this video as either a Clinton or Obama fan and not feel as awkward as you have ever felt in your life. This is awkward on the level of nerdy kid from sitcom accidentally thinks he's on a date with the hot girl, but really she's only using him to get with his friend.



Hopefully you will all join me in calling for Youtube to be outlawed after that debacle. Best part: the dancing.

(Hat tip: Matt Yglesias)

100th Post (JM)

Since I noticed that my Daniel Day-Shoeless post brought us to 99 posts, I might as well go for the gold. Here's our 100th post. Less than a month here at AOTG and we've been linked at Politico and TPM. But mostly we love doing this and we hope to around for awhile. We hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoy writing. Feel free to drop us a line or any suggestions you might have. And to my most recent e-mailer... leaving Maureen Dowd alone is not a suggestion that will fly around here. Talk to you all soon!

How Old Is He? (JM)

People talk about how postracial and postgender this campaign has been. I actually think it has, perhaps been the most strikingly postmodern campaign we've ever seen as well. Reality seems to have no boundaries in this election. Oprah is bringing people out in droves and Bob Vila is well reputed to have have won New Hampshire for Hillary. But throughout all of that did anyone really expect we'd ever see the following headline: Chuck Norris Thinks John McCain is Too Old to Be President.

I mean this is literally the craziest headline I have ever seen. I mean this only a half an order of magnitude from: Alf Sued For Embezzling Money From The Convertible Arbitrage Hedge Fund At Which He Was MP. The point is that I have no clue why people vote for the people they do anymore. Seriously, the fact that campaigns seem to believe that Oprah, Chuck and Bob are useful is a good indication that they actually are. There is something nearly devastating about the politics of pop culture, but it is unclear if this decline is completely inevitable. Is there anyway to uncouple the world of celebrity from the world of politics. Ever since the initial television debates between JFK and Nixon, image has become increasingly important in political campaigns. The truth is that substance no longer seems as important as style; though to be fair some of the style is kind of fun.

To wit: The McCain Camp's response to Chuck Norris: Wilford Brimley. My god, I just love that picture. Seriously, since Dennis is gone I am actively considering abandoning AOTG and starting the blog sternpicturesofwilford.blogspot.com. So keep you eyes out for SPOW at some point in the near future. So in all, Chuck Norris is probably right, John McCain is pretty old. I am sorry, I just can't write anymore, that picture of Wilford makes me feel guilty.

Weird and Hilarious Coincidences (JM)

AOTG favorite Maureen Dowd is as incompetent in real life as she is as a writer. Michelle Henery, of the Times of London claims that Maureen Dowd mistook her for Michelle Obama. Granted, the evidence of this is not fantastic, but the implications are hilarious and Maureen not terribly bright, so my guess is that this probably did happen.

This is made even funnier, because those of you follow this blog closely (i.e. Dennis) will recall that the Times of London is the employer of other AOTG favorite, Lord Finkleton (Daniel Finklestein). Does this mean that we at this blog are the nexus of the universe. Probably.

Also this is the first time I've used AOTG, I like it, we will use it again.

(Hat tip: Ben Smith at Politico.com)