My Second Ever Celebrity Crush (JM)

So the last time I had a legit celebrity crush was when I was about eight years old. For some reason, eight year old Jonathan had a huge crush on the character Violet Beauregarde from the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I recall pulling my friend Dan aside and sheepishly admitting to him my secret shame.* Well it's been a long, hard slog between then and now, but I am fully prepared to admit to a new celebrity enchantment: Zooey Deschanel.

I went to go see She & Him last night, the band she co-anchors with M. Ward, and it was a pretty excellent show. Their music has a very 1950s feel to it, but with a slight edge. She was adorable, having lost her voice she held up signs of greeting and waved a lot, also she wore a really cute 50sish dress. So anyway, the music is great and I am totally crushing on Zooey Deschanel. I am sure something will come of this.**

Also apropos of nothing, for those of you who live in New York you may have noticed subway ads for This American Life. In love the show and I love Ira Glass, but does anyone else think he looks disappointingly toolish? Sigh, our heroes are never what we think they are... At least Carl Kassel doesn't disappoint, he looks precisely like I imagined.***

*I thought I was the only one with weird childhood crush shame until my best friend and college roommate informed me he used to have a thing for Penny from Inspector Gadget. Touche, sir, touche.

**Actually maybe it'll be like that episode of My Two Dads where Nicole's uncle shows up and promises that he can help her meet George Michael. But then Joey (as played by the esteemed Greg Evigan) has to warn her that her uncle is notoriously unreliable, explaining that the uncle had once promised him that he would get to meet Willie Mays and never came through on it. So Nicole got disappointed, but at the end of the episode the uncle brought in Willie Mays to meet Joey. The moral was that eventually he gets around to the things he promises. Anyway, so maybe, just maybe, I will start dating Violet Beauregarde soon, followed up by Zooey Deschanel when I am about 50.

***I decided that every paragraph needed a footnote, so how about a picture of Soterios Johnson, the man with the greatest name on radio. He looks nothing like I imagined, but it a much more palatable way than Ira Glass.