Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Why Do You Hate The Democratic Party So Much? (JM)

Me: Alright Obama fans, I don't like you and you don't like me.

Generic Obama Fan (GOF): I like you.

Me: Well, I don't like you.

GOF: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me?

Me: Alright, fine, we can get drinks on Thursday.

GOF: I can't, I have to post comments on a blog about what a terrible person Hillary is and why Obama should run with Chuck Hagel for president, talk about unity!

Me: You're not serious?

GOF: Of course I am, we want to bring American together. We are sick of political infighting.

Me: Ummm.... okay I mean I like Chuck Hagel just fine, much like I am a fan of Arlen Specter. In fact, by all accounts Chuck Hagel seems to have a pretty good sense of humor. Apparently he dresses up for Halloween every year. One year he went as Joe Biden, another John McCain and perhaps my favorite Colin Powell. I kind of wonder how he pulled that last one off... Anyway, other than on the war and immigration he is a Republican through and through. For instance, he doesn't believe in abortion rights, affirmative action, most forms of welfare or labor rights. He is a Republican, why in the world would we want our leader-in-waiting to be a Republican.

GOF: Because it will bring us all together and help us win the election.

Me: I don't know what that means. Maybe it's because you're a fiction character created by me and I don't believe in any of your arguments thus you're just sort making weird strawman claims, but I fail to see why this unifies us. It's not like Republican will start believing that we should nominate liberal judges to the Supreme Court, is it? Also winning is not an end to itself, there are better ways to win and a more complete victory is worth it.

GOF: You just don't get it, politics are changing.

Me: No, no, a million times no they are not. Yes, internet donations have changed the influence big money will have on elections, but Republicans are still Republicans and they won't start agreeing with us just because we nominate one of their own as Vice President. The truth is that Obama's politics of change is simply brilliant politics and, I assume, he is simply hoping to get a massive title wave of support and new Democratic mandate which he'll use push a liberal agenda. Unity is for the losers, they can unify under our flag.

GOF: You're a bitter cynic.

Me: It's true. And you're the worst character ever.

GOF: I know.

1 comment:

Ted said...

Yeah, I think it would be silly to give a Republican the power to stand in for a Democratic President and let him break ties in the Senate. Stick a couple in the Cabinet, sure. Hagel for HUD Secretary! While we're at it, Specter for Surgeon General! After all, who better than someone who bravely fought off Hodgkin's Disease?