Barnyard Commandos (JM)

I bet you're waiting for some clever tie-in to politics and you're like: "Oh what a witty late 80's reference, I bet he's going to eviscerate some political argument while discussing pop culture all at the same. You know, like Maureen Dowd, but talented." Well you're so wrong, this post is solely and completely about Barnyard Commandos, nothing more nothing less.

So anyway in 1989 a few geniuses got together and said, we need a television show about farm animals. Another guy said, well we have a script about toxic waste effecting a small town... Some synergistic moments later and history was born.

The R.A.M.S., led by Sargent Wooly Pullover fought against the P.O.R.K.S. of General Hamfat Lardo. There was fierce and intense battling; there was a Pork-A-Pult. But it was never super clear what the conflict was all about, nor the underlying political ethos of these respective military forces. Sometimes I would just make up my own little background. For instance, I am pretty sure that the R.A.M.S. were an Anarcho-syndicalist militia which formed to protect unionized farm workers who were being oppressed by corporate America. The P.O.R.K.S. were the hired mercenaries of the financial conglomerate that secretly controls all the branches of the U.S. government.

The moral of the story is: Toys were way cooler back in 1989. The second moral is that the video tape is an episode entitled: Apple Calypse Now. Apples are quite tangential to farm animals, but the pun is adorable and does evoke a certain sense of impeding doom/cider. I hope you enjoyed that little tour back to 1989, I know I did. In conclusion, Mittmentum. Thank you.