Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Mets Should Sign Barry Bonds (JM)

Welcome to baseball season folks, the political hegemony of this blog is at an end, I suspect there will be baseball posts galore soon. Don't worry, still mostly politics and pop culture, but definitely a lot of Mets and Red Sox from me and Dennis. Anyway, the Mets should just so clearly sign Barry Bonds. Why? This:

2007: OPS: 1.045, OBP: .480, SLG: .565

Seriously, it's like a coin flip determines if the man gets on base. I know... STEROIDS, BOOING... who really cares. I guarantee you, the second the man hits a game winning home run, no more booing. He'll cost relatively little and creates this lineup:

1. Reyes
2. Castillo
3. Beltran
4. Bonds
5. Wright
6. Delgado
7. Church
8. Schneider
9. Santana (I could put generic pitcher in there, but look Johan Santana, Mets lineup... look!)

Anyway, that is an absurd, cheating on MLB 2007 type lineup. Everyone has questionable ethics at this point. Bonds didn't allegedly beat his wife like certain Phillies starting pitchers. So quite honestly, I just don't care. With Alou out the Mets should absolutely sign Bonds. When he's back then you platoon Alou/Church/Bonds. It's an infallible plan.

By the by, for those of you who think Bonds is old just remember he is only about half as old John McCain, and we're contemplating giving him the keys the nukes.


2 comments:

yeld said...

He would have to borrow a helmet from Mr. Met. This is the dumbest idea ever - How about Roger (I don't mean McDowell) as pitching coach?

Jonathan said...

Alright, you get credit for the giant head joke, though something tells me that you stole that from Steve Somers... No credit for this is the dumbest idea ever with no reasoning behind it whatsoever, given that Barry Bonds will probably help the Mets win between 4-8 more games this year and Roger Clemens as pitching coach probably would not so much.